Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

Source: Daily Mail

Grandma singing along to Cliff Richard’s Mistletoe and Wine. Kids enlightening the rest of us about a certain red-nosed reindeer. Dads belting out Chris Rea’s Driving Home for Christmas (no? Ah, just mine then). This can only mean one thing. It’s that time of the year again when the dusty Christmas CDs are brought down from the tallest shelves.

But has the scene changed? Are we simply harking back to a time before time? When a woman from Newcastle could still dream of going to America and finding a job as a talent show panellist or the Kaiser Chiefs were only predicting riots.

The worst bit of news I heard last week was surrounding exactly this subject. The cast of The Only Way is Essex are recording a Christmas single, one of the nation’s favourites, Last Christmas by Wham! I imagine that George Michael would be spinning in his car. Although it is for a good cause and there are some average vocal performances (no, really), some of the interest is stricken down by its sheer stupidity. The well rehearsed smouldering looks and talking over the track (for example, “I can’t wait to get my Christmas vajazzle” – PLEASE do not google this). If this single gets anywhere near the Top 10, I will physically eat my laptop. I fear the UK will regret unleashing these people on the World, if you give it even two years.

Moving on to the Pogues. Whom, in my opinion, have the best Christmas song by the least Christmassy band in existence. Although it signals the start of the season, I feel that it could be sung just as well by a drunk sitting outside the Off Licence. Furthermore, it has gained quite a reputation over the years as one of those songs, which it is cool to enjoy.

Source: Andres Otero/WENN

Justin Bieber. Alleged Canadian teen sensation. I recognise that as a 20 year old heterosexual male I am not the target audience for such a musical ‘talent’, but I still don't see the appeal of a remarkably stupid, fringey, high-pitched, alleged runaway father. As such, why did he feel the need to release a Christmas album, including such classics as All I Want for Christmas is You and Mistletoe. I do not know of any section of society that were screaming out for a new version of the Mariah Carey tune.

Source: aaanything.net

Finally, enter X Factor. No doubt Simon Cowell will push his lamb to the slaughter out to the public again this year. Amelia Lily, Little Mix and Marcus Collins are apparently through to the final next week, after which, they will regurgitate an average pop song or ruin a remarkable rock ballad (See Biffy Clyro). But what hasn’t been said about this year’s X Factor too much was its attempt to compromise a music charity. Originally, Little Mix were named Rhythmix but had to be renamed after the Syco’s couldn’t get its namesake to change. In order to raise money for the charity as well as backlash against the X Factor abattoir, Facebook groups are asking for people to purchase Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit instead. This is where my support is going for Christmas Number One.

Overall, if you don’t want a drunkard, or a group of reality TV stars, or a choice of two different manufactured pop stars, there’s only really one option. A drug-infused, depressed singer-songwriter from Seattle, Washington (or Michael Buble, you be the judge!)     

Love Chips x  

Pop Will Eat Itself

Pop music. noun. music of general appeal to the masses, utilising relatively simple but catchy songs.

As a 90s kid, I grew up in an era which gave us the likes of - you will probably remember or, even still listen to them - Five, B*Witched, Steps, the Vengaboys, Aqua, S Club, 'N Sync, to name a few. Although, these individuals may not have been the most talented musicians in the World, they knew this and instead took it upon themselves to put on the "funnest show ever"!!! Their fans would adore them, cutting the lyrics out of Smash Hits magazine and singing in to the hairbrush in front of the mirror while the parents stood by, just calling it a 'phase'.

Fast forward to today. The music industry has exploded in size, with every potential new band having very little room for manoeuvre and those coming off the X Factor/Brit School conveyor belt monopolise the top ten. If you listen to those who really 'know' the business, nobody's "gonna make it" and those who do will inevitably sell out, appearing in the tabloid newspapers or pleading for iTunes downloads in an effort to avoid bankruptcy. So how have we got to this point in time?

I believe that popular artists and their followers take themselves far too seriously, creating a cult-esque feel encompassing everything that they do (I'm looking at you Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars). Only today, a story in the Mail said that followers of Lady Gaga (or 'monsters' as is their preference.... yes, exactly my point) have been attacking British soul sensation Adele on the social-networking site Twitter, so that Lady Gaga can win more awards than her. These are no music lovers. If they cannot see that Adele is a remarkably talented lady, whose voice and personality are both wonderful, they are exactly as it says on the tin... monsters.

And just for an award? I remember times when so-called 'pretentious' frontmen such as Oasis' Liam Gallagher have thrown awards away, as they are not important in the grand scheme of things. The whole ceremony is a self-congratulatory handshake to the music industry, not the geniuses it is built upon.

Music has become obsessed with its business interests, getting away from the roots of why people love it. If it's not going to gain you 100,000 downloads on iTunes, it ain't worth a jot. This rubs salt in to the wound for those journeymen musicians who have been striving for a platform, year upon year. Ed Sheeran is a brilliant example. In 2009, Mr. Ed played 312 gigs in total. In the same period, R&B princess Beyonce played a measly 86 concerts, but shipped 7 million copies of her album, I Am...Sasha Fierce. Where is the justice?!?!

Until the artists themselves become more humble, the music industry will continue to rile us all up. They don't know how good they've got it up there in their ivory tower, nor will they, until they've toured Scream pubs from Leamington Spa to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

Love Chips x