Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

Source: Daily Mail

Grandma singing along to Cliff Richard’s Mistletoe and Wine. Kids enlightening the rest of us about a certain red-nosed reindeer. Dads belting out Chris Rea’s Driving Home for Christmas (no? Ah, just mine then). This can only mean one thing. It’s that time of the year again when the dusty Christmas CDs are brought down from the tallest shelves.

But has the scene changed? Are we simply harking back to a time before time? When a woman from Newcastle could still dream of going to America and finding a job as a talent show panellist or the Kaiser Chiefs were only predicting riots.

The worst bit of news I heard last week was surrounding exactly this subject. The cast of The Only Way is Essex are recording a Christmas single, one of the nation’s favourites, Last Christmas by Wham! I imagine that George Michael would be spinning in his car. Although it is for a good cause and there are some average vocal performances (no, really), some of the interest is stricken down by its sheer stupidity. The well rehearsed smouldering looks and talking over the track (for example, “I can’t wait to get my Christmas vajazzle” – PLEASE do not google this). If this single gets anywhere near the Top 10, I will physically eat my laptop. I fear the UK will regret unleashing these people on the World, if you give it even two years.

Moving on to the Pogues. Whom, in my opinion, have the best Christmas song by the least Christmassy band in existence. Although it signals the start of the season, I feel that it could be sung just as well by a drunk sitting outside the Off Licence. Furthermore, it has gained quite a reputation over the years as one of those songs, which it is cool to enjoy.

Source: Andres Otero/WENN

Justin Bieber. Alleged Canadian teen sensation. I recognise that as a 20 year old heterosexual male I am not the target audience for such a musical ‘talent’, but I still don't see the appeal of a remarkably stupid, fringey, high-pitched, alleged runaway father. As such, why did he feel the need to release a Christmas album, including such classics as All I Want for Christmas is You and Mistletoe. I do not know of any section of society that were screaming out for a new version of the Mariah Carey tune.

Source: aaanything.net

Finally, enter X Factor. No doubt Simon Cowell will push his lamb to the slaughter out to the public again this year. Amelia Lily, Little Mix and Marcus Collins are apparently through to the final next week, after which, they will regurgitate an average pop song or ruin a remarkable rock ballad (See Biffy Clyro). But what hasn’t been said about this year’s X Factor too much was its attempt to compromise a music charity. Originally, Little Mix were named Rhythmix but had to be renamed after the Syco’s couldn’t get its namesake to change. In order to raise money for the charity as well as backlash against the X Factor abattoir, Facebook groups are asking for people to purchase Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit instead. This is where my support is going for Christmas Number One.

Overall, if you don’t want a drunkard, or a group of reality TV stars, or a choice of two different manufactured pop stars, there’s only really one option. A drug-infused, depressed singer-songwriter from Seattle, Washington (or Michael Buble, you be the judge!)     

Love Chips x